An irreverent look at all things said, considered, tweeted, posted and gone amuck in college football
Week three from outer space: Quick follow up to Washington State Coach Mike Leach’s press conference last week about Big Foot and the existence of life on other planets.
You want an alien sighting?
Saturday night, the University of Mississippi football team is playing a game at Cal.
Close your eyes and image Mike Huckabee shooting heroin with Keith Richards.
Busby, meet Berkeley.
I’d almost pay to see Ole Miss fans, known for rolling out elaborate pre-game picnics on The Grove, with their fine silverware and linens, walking past the freak show on Telegraph Avenue on their way to Memorial Stadium.
This is so rare it’s never happened.
Not only has Ole Miss never played Cal in football.
This marks Mississippi’s first close encounter of any current kind against the Pac 12.
The game must have been scheduled years ago, on Ken Kesey's bus, between acid trips. Or maybe you think it's just coincidence the first and last names of Timothy Leary and Trent Lott both start with "T" and "L."
Far out, man.
Ole Miss does, loosely, claim a 1-0 record versus the Pac, via its 2013 win over Idaho in Oxford.
Idaho, from 1922 to 1959, was a member of the Pacific Coast Conference, which included USC and UCLA, but disbanded after a series of scandals.
Ole Miss should feel right at home. The Rebels are soon set to go before NCAA infractions on a multitude of charges. Matt Luke is also the team’s interim coach because Hugh Freeze resigned just before the season to avoid being fired under the school's “moral turpitude” code.
Saturday's game is a 6:30 local kick in Strawberry Canyon.
Pac 12 after moral turpitude Dark.
Speaking of fudging Pac 12 win-loss records: USC vacates its title-game LOSS to Texas? Here's my inside look at that outrageous development. [membership level="0"] The rest of this article is available to subscribers only - to become a subscriber click here.[/membership] [membership]
Check out USC game notes this week:
That’s right, the Trojans are claiming their epic 2005 season national title game loss, 41-38, at the Rose Bowl, did not happen.
People are ripping our Trojan warriors a new breastplate over this, but you've got to admire the hutzpah here. I can see the brain-trust engine wheels turning: "If you’re going to strip our greatest victories away for a bogus NCAA probation, why not our most painful defeat?"
Jeff Spicoli used this kind of circular-logic brilliance to pass U.S. History from Mr. Hand.
"What Jefferson was saying was, 'Hey! You know, we left this England place 'cause it was bogus; so if we don't get some cool rules ourselves - pronto - we'll just be bogus too! Get it?'"
If former AD Mike Garrett isn't behind this, well, I bet he at least sent a dozen roses. USC has never fully accepted the Reggie Bush sanctions given the hand-slaps the NCAA has handed down since. The probation looks like, in hindsight, an inside job, a mafia hit by an infractions committee out to get a department led by a defiant, obstinate former Heisman winner who arrogantly led USC football operations (who cares about those other sports) to the pinnacle of pugnaciousness.
None of this "4-0 vs. Texas" stuff is going to wash with the NCAA, or even the whiny, sniveling court of public opinion, but let's give veteran Trojan SID Tim Tessalone the old slow-clap for this mastermind piece of game-notes-manship. Hey, didn't Ole Miss just try to credit itself a "Pac 12" win over Idaho?
USC was forced to vacate its 2004 BCS national title for playing an ineligible player, Bush, who also played in the 2005 title game. Bush also had to “vacate” his 2005 Heisman Trophy.
It's bad enough not being able to welcome one former Heisman winner back on campus. But two?
USC’s better argument is that Bush wasn’t even on the field for the pivotal play against Texas: fourth-and-two. Texas stopped LenDale White short and Vince Young then led the Longhorns on the game-winning drive.
Anti-social media: now we’ve seen everything: Arizona State had to issue a statement, on its official Twitter account, to redirect savage comments following the Sun Devils’ loss to San Diego State.
Michael Sleep-Dalton, the team’s Australian punter, was one ASU player subjected to fan abuse.
“Your the sh--iest punter on the planet.”
“You f--king suck.”
Welcome to America, mate. How do you like the shrimps on our barbie?
Bring me back the good old days when fans just booed players as part of a collective mob.
Good on ASU for trying to deflect some of this garbage from its amateur athletes.
“That’s why I don’t spend much time on social media,” Coach Todd Graham said at his Monday press conference.
My rule is vent all you want on the head coaches—they’re grown men and get paid millions of dollars.
Until college players get paid, leave them alone. And try to graduate in less than eight years.
Cold off the presses: This story is from Monday’s L.A. Times, my old working establishment. The Washington State-Boise State game was played Saturday night, in Pullman, but didn’t make it into the Sunday paper. The combination of early print deadlines and late college kicks on Saturday night is just one reason why this grizzled print columnist was enticed into taking the buyout.