NBC overlords sack SEC in ranking of worst states

The mainstream snowflakes have done it again with another cooked-numbers attack against God, goodness, grits, gridiron and the land of cotton.

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Did you see this?

The National Biased Corporation, NBC, recently released a so-called “ranking” of the 10 worst states in which to live.

Seven of the 10 fall under the proud banner of the Southeastern Conference.

The SEC motto is “it just means more.”

NBC is “it just leans more.”

Actually, this is what you expect from a network that, in 1968, preempted the end of an NFL game for a showing of “Heidi,” the story of a little Swiss girl in the Alps, which is about as un-American as it gets.[membership level="0"] The rest of this article is available to subscribers only - to become a subscriber click here.[/membership] [membership]

I wouldn’t preempt the NFL for Heidi even if she ran the Matterhorn in 4.3.

The game NBC cut the ending off of, the way Mississippi State Coach Jackie Sherrill once did to that bull, featured the New York Jets at the Oakland Raiders. It just so happens the Jets were quarterbacked that day by Joe Namath, who played at Alabama, which ended up No. 1 on NBC’s worst-states-to-live list.

Coincidence? I think not.

First let’s examine NBC’s hatchet job:

10: Kentucky

9: (Tie) between New Mexico and Tennessee.

7: Mississippi

6: Indiana

5: Missouri

4: Arkansas

3: Oklahoma

2: Louisiana

1: Alabama

What a shock that nine of the 10 worst states are red states, the exception being New Mexico, with its whopping “five” electoral votes. When did New Mexico become a state?

NBC’s list is a joke and so obviously an ecumenical attack on college football in America’s deep south. It smacks of jealousy and pure hatred of pulled pork and boiled peanuts. No surprise the only broadcast “skin” NBC has in our sport is an exclusive contract with Notre Dame, which got ham-hocked by Alabama in the 2012 national title game.

NBC, evidently, did not collect any data on the third Saturday in October, the date on which Tennessee and Alabama play annually.

This 2001 line from Beano Cook sums it up:

“If you are a fan of Tennessee or Alabama football there are two rules to live by: Don’t get married on the third Saturday in October, and try not to die—because in either case, the preacher might not show.”

You don’t think NBC sucker-punched college football in its lower region?

Its worst states list includes a total of nine national titles in the BCS era: Tennessee, Oklahoma, Louisiana State (2), Alabama (4) and Auburn.

NBC probably doesn’t even believe in erecting statues for its football coaches while they are still alive.

Who among us in the SEC doesn't want to turn Mike the Tiger loose on the NBC Peacock?

Here is NBC’s flimsy case-against evidence:

10: Kentucky: Highest rate of tobacco smokers in the nation.

Rebuttal: Ok, we’ll give you Kentucky. I would not want to live there. Worse, the football team has not shown much growth under Mark Stoops and hasn’t defeated Florida in 30 years.

9: New Mexico\Tennessee

Two of the highest crime rates, per capita, in the country. Also, in certain parts of New Mexico, at certain times of the year, try not to breathe.

Rebuttal: Wait a minute. You spend all this time and research, NBC, and you can’t break a tie between New Mexico and Tennessee? That's more wishy-washy than Rachael Maddow and Chris Hayes discussing clean energy at a vegan restaurant on Earth Day. Tennessee, by a Cumberland gap, is the better state to live. The biggest nuclear event to ever go off there was only Lane Kiffin.

7: Mississippi: NBC reports it has one of the highest obesity rates in America.

Rebuttal: Archie Manning, “My Dog Spot,” and the best reason to live there now: holier-than-thou Ole Miss Coach, Hugh Freeze, who just received an escort out of Oxford. Freeze went out reciting Beatitudes and claiming the number he was trying to butt-dial on his company cellphone was a Jenny at 867-5309.

6: Indiana: Lacks basic protections against discrimination.

Rebuttal: Give Indiana credit. It used to lack basic protections against Bob Knight.

5: Missouri: Ranks near bottom in public health funding.

Rebuttal: Ok, we’ll give you Missouri too. Lately, it hasn’t shown me anything.

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4: Arkansas: One of the lowest rates for physical activity.

Rebuttal: Hello: Arkansas Coach Bret Bielema’s wife just had a baby so, yeah, the family may have put on a few pounds. Also, the state university’s nickname is “Hogs.”

3: Oklahoma: NBC lists weaknesses as “health, attractions.”

Rebuttal: General overall health and conditioning is a real issue, given quarterback Baker Mayfield was chased down and arrested last winter by a police officer in Fayetteville, a city in sedentary Arkansas.

2: Louisiana: Aka, NBC says, “America’s fattest state.”

Rebuttal: Worth every pound just for the beignets at Café Du Monde.

1: Alabama: One of the nation’s least-inclusive states.

Rebuttal: That’s right. Nick Saban only hands out scholarships to five-star recruits. That’s why he’s won four national titles at Tuscaloosa.[/membership]

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