Rankman is still scratching his noggin over the first release of the College Football Playoff scribblings. The committee ranked Texas A&M ahead of Washington on the basis the Aggies had four wins against winning teams compared to only two for the Huskies. But wait…one team is undefeated and the other lost a game by 19 points? Never mind that Washington leads TAMU in the AP, USA Today and FWAA Super 16 polls, plus several computers like Jeff Sagarin, Jeff Pythagorean, Anderson-Hester, Anderson-Chester, Chester-Gunsmoke, Barbara Billingsley, Barbara Boxer, Raymond Massey, Raymond James and the King James top-25 bible index. Remember when the Pac 10 thought the BCS was unfair? Anyway, if you want unbiased, clinical, introspective analysis, look no further than Rankman’s hot mess of weekly listings. Enjoy, or not.[membership level="0"] The rest of this article is available to subscribers only - to become a subscriber click here.[/membership] [membership]
1: Alabama (8-0): Word is the highlight of Saban’s birthday bash on Monday was Lee Roy Jordan emerging from a giant cake. (1)
2: Michigan (8-0): Harbaugh seeks restraining order to keep Ohio State at least two poll spots away at all time. (2)
3: Washington (8-0): Response to CFP committee ranking: “Losing to Alabama by 19. Why didn’t we think of that?” (3)
4: Clemson (8-0): NC State kicker who missed chip-shot to beat Clemson has Tigers at No. 8 in his ranking. (4)
5: Ohio State (7-1): Bucks will wear vintage 1916 uniforms and then party like it’s 1999 on against Nebraska. (5)
6: Louisville (7-1): Slip sliding away. Slip sliding away. You know the nearer your destination the more you keep slip sliding away. (6)
7: Wisconsin (6-2): Paul Ryan admits he voted for Badgers but won’t make any public appearances with team. (7)
8: Texas A&M (7-1): (8) First school to be promoted to No. 4 in any ranking, in any sport, after beating New Mexico State.
9: Nebraska (7-1): Riley wins “best herb” at Halloween party for dressing as iconic man in painting: “American Garlic.” (10)
10: Western Michigan (9-0): First college team in football history to win ninth game on Tuesday, Nov. 1. (14)
11: Auburn (6-2): CFP committee is so smitten with Auburn it has reportedly asked for a second date. (NR)
12: LSU (5-2): Rankman fully expects CFP to promote Coach O to Coach A if he beats Alabama on Saturday. (NR).
13: Oklahoma (6-2): Suspended players should know better: NEVER break a team rule before playing Iowa State.
14: Utah (7-2): Utes in last row didn’t see winning UW punt return because their views were blocked in the back. (13)
15: Florida (6-1): Mr. Magoo says the coast looks clear except for maybe LSU and Florida State at the end. (NR)
16: Colorado (6-2): Scouting reports on UCLA’s Rosen vary from “game-time decision” to “shoulder transplant.” (NR)
First Four Out
Florida State: Some in Miami thought Bobby Bowden’s endorsement of Trump went a little “wide right.”
Oklahoma State: Booster T. Boone congratulates Gundy on 100th win with telegram that read “About time.”
Boise State: Team calls losing wagon train trip home from Lamarie worse than eating hard tack.
Washington State: Thought after first CFP ranking: if a team fell in Pullman would anyone hear it?
Honorary Poll Bearers
Wyoming (win over Boise set off big party at fraternity house: Yippee Ki Yay), West Virginia (sorry about first loss last week) Baylor (Same thing I just said about West Virginia), Penn State (nice start but PLEASE don’t erect a statue of James Franklin), Stanford (who imagined beating USC, UCLA and Notre Dame in same season could be so horrible?), Virginia Tech (Firmly in control of ACC Coastal, Postal and Infantry divisions), North Carolina (see “basketball” for higher poll rankings).
Next Four Never
Arizona: Being 0-5 in Pac 12 South pretty much cinches school not earning first Rose Bowl berth.
Fresno State: Only win this year is over SAC, which we believe stands for Strategic Air Command.
Tennessee: So many injuries Kenny Rogers just dropped in to see what condition their condition is in.
Kansas: “What’s the Matter With Kansas?” now available on audio books narrated by John Hadl.[/membership]