Rankman's super duper ranking\comments: Week 10


What, no more November baseball on FOX? And just when we were starting to get interested. Here’s a little factoid: The 1927 World Series, won by the Yankees over the Pittsburgh Pirates, ended on Oct. 8. Babe Ruth hit two home runs in the clincher but Lou Gehrig went 0-for-5 with two Ks, which was obviously edited from “Pride of the Yankees.” You think Lou’s mom didn’t suffer enough? It was nice of baseball to finally step aside and allow college football one solid month to itself, without Joe Buck, where we can start concentrating on SEC coaching rumors. God’s Conference always keeps us on our toes. Those of us who had Ed Orgeron, Butch Jones and\or Bret Bielema as the first coach to lose his SEC job lost to Jim McElwain at Florida. The Gators fooled us by invoking the rarely-used clause about a head coach faking and\or exaggerating reports about death threats issued to his family. We haven’t seen anything like this in the SEC since Ole Miss dropped the “moral turpitude” fine print on Hugh Freeze. This is also the conference that fired Mike Price before he coached a game at Alabama for violating the school’s spring-break, strip-club provision. McElwain’s firing is now impacting several fan bases worried Florida is going to raid their schools of either: Matt Campbell (Iowa State), Scott Frost (Central Florida), Justin Fuente (Virginia Tech) or Mike Norvell (Memphis). And this could just be the beginning on the SEC coaching carousel. These rumors have had a huge impact on the “comments” section of this week’s Rankman ranking. Fans in Memphis have to be genuinely concerned knowing the only young star who never left town for a better gig was Elvis.

1: Alabama (8-0): We get what the committee did but not even Gladys Knight and the Pips would bet the midnight train on Georgia. (1)

2: Georgia (8-0): Kirby sends selection committee a note after No.1 saying, “Just how much did Saban pay you for this?” (2)

3: Notre Dame (8-1): School unfamiliar with process calls P.R. people at Oregon and Louisville to get ideas about winning a “Heisman.” (9)[membership level="0"] The rest of this article is available to subscribers only - to become a subscriber click here.[/membership] [membership]

4: Miami (7-0): Convinced ‘Canes are a team of destiny that will win national title on a three-bar ball bounce through the goal posts. (7)

5: Ohio State (7-1): Warning: Urban’s title runs of 2008 (Ole Miss) and 2014 (V-Tech) also included ugly home losses. (5)

6: Clemson (7-1): Penance for Syracuse loss is served by throwing three Hail Mary’s at the end of last Thursday’s practice. (10)

7: Oklahoma (7-1): Time to quit gushing over that Ohio State win and start fixing something else that’s gushing: your defense. (15)

8: Penn State (7-1): No one in Pasadena has seen a fourth-quarter lead blown like that since last year’s Rose Bowl vs. USC. (3)

9: Wisconsin (8-0): Grand Jury indictment against Badgers’ schedule expected as soon as Mueller’s team gets a day off. (6)

10: Oklahoma State (7-1): So, Oklahoma is leading the “Bedlam” series, 78-18-7. Sounds more like “Boredom” for the Sooners. (8)

11: Washington (7-1): Turns out that five UCLA tacklers last Saturday were made of same material used for Don James statue. (11)

12: Texas Christian (7-1): Asked what impressed committee most about Iowa State loss, committee said “Tie between the 11 penalties and no offensive TDs.” (4)

13: Central Florida (7-0): Grant Wood ready to paint a pitchfork into Scott Frost’s rear end if he goes to Florida instead of Nebraska. (14)

14: Virginia Tech: Hokie fans should NOT worry about star coach leaving…wait, what, there’s a call on line 2 from Gainesville? (NR)

15: Auburn (6-2): The only longshot in this year’s national title race with remaining games against Georgia and Alabama. (NR)

16:USC (7-2): Trojans are a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma, wrapped in a greasy Tommy’s chili-burger wrapper. (NR)

First Four Out

Iowa State: Cheerleaders: If you’re reading this and Matt Campbell is still your head coach kick your heels and say “Two, Four, Six, Eight…”

Arizona: QB Tate needs two more Pac 12 Offensive Player of Week awards to win a free smoothie at Tucson’s Juice It Up.

Memphis: If you don’t think coach Norvell would pick up and leave I’ve got some swamp land in Florida (around Gainesville) to sell you.

LSU: Coaches say this Bama team reminds them of Troy “If Troy had Alabama’s players, tradition, athletic budget and were coached by Nick Saban.”

Next Four Never

Illinois: Lovie Smith earns “Samsung Ogre of the Week” by calling TWO time outs to freeze poor Minnesota kicker.

North Carolina: Sports psychologist explains "North Carolina Blue" can also be seen as a form of melancholy brought on by poor football-team performance.

Kansas: NOT making this up: Players will be wearing "Civil War-themed" uniforms against Baylor this week.

Baylor: School responds by announcing it will stage a re-enactment, led by Col. Art Briles, commemorating the last good Army it fielded at "The Battle of 2014."[/membership]