In case you missed it—and everyone did—the College Football Playoff selection committee released its second ranking Tuesday evening in the middle of election mayhem. In the cover of darkness, the committee atoned for last week’s blunder and ranked undefeated Washington at No. 4. It was about the only thing good to happen to a “blue state” all night. It’s now up to Washington to defend its ranking this week against the hard-charging USC Trojans, which won’t be easy. The committee upped the drama by promoting USC from unranked to No. 20. How any team could make that big a jump with a win over this year’s Oregon is another story. Anyway, on to Rankman’s “low energy” poll, which lost the unpopular vote and flunked out of Electoral Junior College.[membership level="0"] The rest of this article is available to subscribers only - to become a subscriber click here.[/membership] [membership]
1: Alabama (9-0): Calling Roll Tide the nation’s best team is silly and mostly disrespectful to the New England Patriots. (1)
2: Michigan (9-0): Playoff committee says Harbaugh will not be charged with loss for attending Dem event on Monday. (2)
3: Washington (9-0): Hey look, while everyone was freaking out Tuesday, the CFP selection committee moved you up to No. 4. (3)
4: Clemson (9-0): Announcer with fear of certain phrases says Deshaun Watson’s “shore soulder” will be fine. (4).
5: Ohio State (8-1): Buckeyes are most gushed-upon team in America with a 2-1 record in its last three games. (5)
6: Louisville (8-1): Lamar Jackson hasn’t won the Heisman yet but said to be learning words to “New York, New York.” (6)
7: Wisconsin (7-2): Senate photographer having trouble getting Paul Ryan to “Smile and say Cheese.” (7)
8: Auburn (7-2): Collision report: Tigers banged up at QB and RB while one lineman also had a fender bender. (11)
9: Oklahoma (7-2): Sooners first team in history to make top 10 after allowing 59 points to Texas Tech. (13)
10: LSU (5-3): AD almost named Coach 0-0 the permanent coach after three quarters against Alabama. (12).
11: Western Michigan (10-0): Improved to 2-0 in Tuesday night bowling league at Kalamazoo Lanes. (11)
12: Utah (7-2): Utes drop bid to enter college football playoff race as a third-party candidate. (14)
13: Colorado (6-2): It took a bar of soap and Ralphie’s shower loofah to wipe the stench off last week’s UCLA win. (NR)
14: Texas A&M (7-2): Clearly the key to not falling far in other polls is posting a quality loss to 3-5 Mississippi State. (8)
15: Penn State (7-2): Coach James named state’s most important Franklin since Ben in recent Altoona survey. (NR)
16: West Virginia (7-1): Coaches from state who couldn’t wait to win titles elsewhere: Nick Saban, Lou Holtz, John McKay. (NR)
First Four Out
Oklahoma State: No definitive plans to change name of offense to “Frack Attack.”
Washington State: Leach expected to leave Pullman to become Trump’s Offensive Coordinator.
Nebraska: Count all your blessings (but not your 59-point losses).
San Diego State: School extends its best, post-stadium referendum wishes to the Los Angeles Chargers.
Honorary Poll Bearers
Boise State (red state, plays on blue field?), Eastern Washington (blue state, plays on red field?), Florida (red state, blue uniforms, favorite hobby: draining swamps), North Carolina (red state, blue uniforms, favorite show: Green Acres), Florida State (red state, red mascot), USC (white horse, direction: Pac 12 South), Virginia Tech (blue state, black burg) Wyoming (red, white and brown), Stanford (red wood), Baylor (no silver lining).
Next Four Never
Arizona: RichRod asks driver of team charter to stop and see if wheels have come off the bus.
Bowling Green: Only win this year: 27-26 over 1-AA Fighting Hawks of North Dakota.
Kansas: If you can believe it there is a city in the state named “Liberal.”
Rice: Thank goodness you scheduled Prairie View.[/membership]