Rankman's Weekly Ranking

The University of Brian Kelly at South Bend makes a huge, six-spot rise this week. No one has jumped so high, so fast, at Notre Dame since Moeller High (Cincinnati) School coach Gerry Faust was asked if he wanted to sit in Knute Rockne's rocking chair. Rankman Inc. is simply acknowledging the Touchdown Jesus inevitable truth concerning Notre Dame. The Irish, after last weekend's 38-17 thrashing of Stanford, are now a serious threat to make the college football playoff and knock a Power 5 conference champion to the lower deck. Notre Dame has already defeated Michigan and Stanford and WILL get a playoff spot at 12-0. Right? Fans of potential other conference champions (Pac 12, Big 12, ACC) will be rooting hard for Virginia Tech to upend the Irish in Blacksburg this weekend...Holding steady: Ohio State scored a huge, comeback win at Penn State but couldn't budge in the ranking because the Bucks were already No. 2. We also held Penn State at No. 11 for a hard-fought loss Rankman is pinning on the Head Ball Coach for late-game decision making...Stanford is still in the ranking but hanging on like Slim Pickens to that A-bomb at the end of Dr. Strangelove...Finally, in case anyone cares, the shell casing of Florida State is playing Miami this weekend. Outside of Tiger vs. Phil on pay-per-view, we can't think of a big time match-up that has more suddenly lost its luster....


1: Alabama (5-0): Students called out by Saban for not showing up for Louisiana (49-0 at half) say they’re saving their money for Citadel on Nov. 17. (1)

2: Ohio State (5-0): Having trouble, Happy Valley, with those stubborn White Out stains? Try mixing Tide with a little Febreze. (2)

3: Georgia (5-0): Top SEC East Coach closes office door when told he might have to deal with a “growing menace” in the Commonwealth of Kentucky. (4)

4: Notre Dame (5-0): The most active, rowdy and spirited group of Irish players we’ve has seen since the Munster Rugby Senior Cup. (10)

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5: LSU (5-0): Seven words Baton Rouge never expected to be written about transfer QB Joe Burrow: “Reigning SEC Offensive Player of the Week.” (6)

6: Oklahoma (5-0): When OU\Texas meet at annual State Fair game you just throw all the records and funnel cakes out the window. (5)

7: Clemson (5-0): We’re not saying the Tigers have a quarterback shortage but listed third string on this week’s depth chart is Howard Rock. (3)

8: Auburn (4-1): Mechanic at Toomer’s Gas Station says sputtering offensive engine might be due to a squirrel crawling up into the exhaust manifold. (8)

9: Washington (4-1): Coach Pete in L.A. this weekend to play UCLA. Willing to swing by USC for another horrible, disqualifying, interview. (9)

10: West Virginia (4-0): Having to defeat Oklahoma twice at the end to get national title shot could still be easier than having to beat Pitt once in 2007. (12)

11: Penn State (4-1): Last-play spectator McSorely enjoyed being close to the action and hopes to attend more games in the future. (11)

12: Michigan (4-1): Trailed for the first 55 minutes at Northwestern but so did most sportswriters I know who attended that college. (13)

13: Central Florida (5-0): CFP committee says undefeated Knights should absolutely be considered for somebody’s playoff but not necessarily in football…(14)

14: Kentucky (5-0): Not bad for a guy who finished fourth in the Bluegrass Pickin’ contest at the Stoops Brothers Family Picnic, Hoedown & Hootenanny. (15)

15: Miami (4-1): Rankman has not been so soon-to-be-disappointed about the Canes since right around this time last season…(NR)

16: Stanford (4-1): Shaw in a nutshell: Third-and-21 in own territory. Fourth quarter, down 31-17 at ND. Handoff to Bryce Love, who re-injures ankle. (7)

First Four Out

Texas: Bevo signing new lease extension for pen through 2022 is first good sign the Horns might be back.

Oregon: Associated Press procedural cop “Russo” visits Eugene to remind players what they have this weekend is an “open date” and not a “bye.”

Colorado: Record of opponents so far is 1-16 with Oregon State, the Washington Generals and 1976 Tampa Bay Bucs still left to play.

Wisconsin: Only three things left in common with Nebraska are red and white color schemes, farm subsidies and mutual love for “Barn Hunters.”

Next Four Never

UTEP: Miners getting 25 points in Las Vegas for North Texas, 75 pounds of ice in Las Cruces from Costco and 14 bottles of pain killers in Juarez.

University of Phoenix: No football program but the wife and I have always wanted to retire to nice online college community.

Nebraska: “Hey UCLA, remember in 2015 when people thought that Foster Farms Bowl was a bad matchup?”

UCLA: “You guys were 5-7 and we came in having lost two of our last three…Ah, the good old days.”[/membership]